All We'd Ever Need
by Topsy
Summary: What happens to Richard Castle and Kate Beckett if she marries another man? Don't worry, this *is* a Caskett fic. Now COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** This story takes place, let's say around the beginning of season 4. Except in my world, Roy is still alive and Kate was never shot. Also – I've sort of seen this story before, so I apologize if it looks similar to anything you've read. But I actually got the idea from the Lady Antebellum song, "All We'd Ever Need." This isn't really a song-fic, but that's where the inspiration came from. I hope you like it!

Thanks to Buzz for beta-reading! I really appreciate all of your help.

**Summary:** What happens to Richard Castle and Kate Beckett if she marries another man?

**Disclaimer:** The characters of Castle do not belong to me. I am only borrowing them for a short time.

* * *

Richard Castle was uncharacteristically quiet because his imagination was getting the best of him.

His partner's boyfriend had shown up at the precinct a few minutes earlier and Castle had tried to ignore the jealous fluttering somewhere behind his ribcage when Josh and Kate had kissed happily.

Now, that fluttering feeling was replaced with confusion.

Kate had gathered everyone up in one of the interview rooms. Montgomery, Ryan, Esposito, and himself. She even called Lanie up from the morgue to "come and have a few beers," as he'd overheard her say on the phone. None of this was out of the ordinary. What _was_ out of the ordinary was that Josh was there. That, and usually when they were all meeting up for drinks in an interview room, they were celebrating the closing of a case. But they had closed their case early yesterday afternoon and today had been a fairly slow day, just tying up loose ends and finishing up paperwork. Or rather, Kate doing paperwork, and Castle being a pain in her ass. Which he knew she enjoyed.

His lips turned up slightly in a smile at the thought, but quickly disappeared when Josh came into his line of vision. Something was up, and Castle didn't think he was going to like it. His writer's imagination was running at full speed, but he was trying his very best to ignore it and the panic that was slip-sliding its way through his gut.

Finally, Kate looked at Josh one last time, before turning to all of her friends. She brought her hands up and clasped them in front of her, then dropped them to her side.

"So, everyone, I know we don't usually do this sort of thing unless we're celebrating a closed case, but I asked you here because there _is_ something else to celebrate."

She glanced back at Josh and smiled. He grinned at her. When she turned back around, her eyes met Castle's and his stomach dropped.

She was nervous about telling them her news and it was because of him. He could see that plain as day, written across her face. He wasn't going to like what she was about to say. He straightened, trying to prepare himself for it.

"Josh asked me to marry him."

No, Castle definitely did not like that.

"And I said yes."

He _hated_ that.

Everyone paused for a moment, a little dumbfounded, and a few looks were thrown in Castle's direction. But Castle didn't hear or see any of it as their friends started congratulating Kate and Josh. All he heard was the roaring in his ears, like he had just been pulled under by a tidal wave. All he saw was Kate's face, smiling joyfully and somewhat shyly at their friends.

Castle wanted nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow him whole. He did not want to do this. He wasn't sure he even could. His body seemed frozen, paralyzed with disbelief and disappointment.

The words "one and done" raced through his head, repeating on an endless loop. He wasn't sure he had ever felt this much pain in his chest before, and he wondered briefly if he was having a heart attack.

But he knew it was simply his heart breaking.

* * *

Kate hugged her friends and smiled at them, as Josh hovered closely behind her, taking pats on the back from the boys. She went through the motions, but she was distracted. She watched Castle from the corner of her eye, watched as the blood drained from his face and he went instantly pale. She almost went to him then, to make sure he was okay, because he really looked like he was about to pass out, like he needed to have someone remind him how to breathe.

He hadn't moved from his spot and she tried to read him, to figure out what he was thinking, but he was simply pale, and more still than she had ever seen him. When she finally turned to face him and met his gaze again, it snapped him out of his stillness. He turned to the side, took a deep breath, and then turned back to her, a smile plastered on his face.

It wasn't genuine, she could tell, but he was trying. For not the first time since she met him, she wished she could see inside his head, read his thoughts like she read his words on paper. He walked to her and stopped in front of her.

"Congratulations, Kate," he said, but couldn't quite meet her eyes. His voice sounded like he had just finished swallowing a handful of gravel. He cleared his throat, and then leaned forward to gently kiss her cheek. Then he turned to Josh. "Congratulations." He forced another smile. "You're a lucky man."

"I know," Josh said with a smile, and took Castle's outstretched hand for a shake. "Thank you."

Castle dipped his head in a short nod, then stepped a few feet away from them.

"Have a beer, Castle," Kate said, motioning towards the bottles behind her on the table.

He reached for his jacket instead. "Thanks, but I have to get going. Alexis… Alexis asked if I would help her study tonight."

"Oh, okay. See you tomorrow then?" she asked.

Castle nodded, unable to speak, and turned to make his escape, just as Lanie said, "Girl! Let me see the rock! I know this man got you a ring."

The last sound he heard was Josh chuckling behind him as he bolted from the room.

* * *

All he could think was _keep moving, one foot in front of the other_. He didn't stop the mantra in his head until he was outside the precinct, standing on a city sidewalk. The chilly night air hit his lungs and he bent over, grasping his knees as he took in big gasping breaths, over and over.

Tears gripped his eyes and he squeezed them shut tightly to fight them off. He had lost her. Really, truly lost her, for good. She was a "one and done" type of girl and he would never get his chance. He had always thought his day would come, the day when he could show her what she really meant to him. But his time was up. There were no more chances. He was going to have to find a way to live with that.

He straightened and stood, blinking his eyes hard a few times, before he turned and started walking, off into the recesses of the city, with no destination in mind.

* * *

**End Note:** This story is completely finished, and is a total of seven chapters. The second chapter had to go through a small re-write, so I am waiting on my beta-reader to get back to me on that. Once she does, I will post it. I probably won't post all of the chapters all at once, because this is my first Castle series, and I want to see how it pans out with the audience if I make you wait a little while. I want to see if people come back for the rest. But don't worry, the whole story will be up by the end of the week. I'm going out of town this weekend and want to make sure it's all up for you guys before then.

Please let me know your thoughts as you read through this. It will help me see if I'm any good at these Castle series'. Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** To those of you who are concerned, don't worry! I am a total Caskett fan and will never, ever write anything where they don't work out. That's the whole point of writing for me! You just gotta make it through the angst/heartbreak first. So hang on! It will all be okay, I promise.

* * *

The next day, Kate Beckett sat at her desk in the precinct, tossing her phone back and forth in her hands as she stared at her partner's empty chair. It was nearing lunchtime, and he still hadn't arrived for the day. Sometimes he didn't come in until she called to let him know they had a body, but most of the time he couldn't resist, and would show up just to spend the day annoying her. And if she was honest with herself, she could admit that she missed that, missed his presence. There wasn't even very much paperwork left to do, and she missed his ability to keep her entertained on slow days.

But today, today she just wanted to see him and make sure he was all right. She was worried about him. After she had announced her engagement, he had simply faded out. The Castle she knew and lo—the Castle she _knew _(certainly didn't _love_), had left the building. The light had faded from his eyes and he had bolted as fast as he could. She hadn't bought his excuse that he had to help Alexis study. She knew that he was fleeing, running away from her and her _fiancé_.

God, that still felt weird. _Fiancé._ She twisted the ring she was now wearing on her finger. It felt strange. She still wasn't used to the weight of it on her hand. Butterflies started dancing in her stomach again at the thought of marrying Josh. He was a wonderful man, and she loved him, and this was right. You were supposed to marry the man you loved. Thoughts of Castle popped into her head again, but she pushed them aside. She loved _Josh_. It was something she had been repeating to herself through all of this, trying to calm her fears.

With a sudden fierceness that surprised her, she wished her mom were there. Tears sprang into her eyes and she bit her lip, trying to force them back. She just wanted to talk to her mom, sort all of this out with her. Her mother would know exactly what to say, would know exactly what to do.

Kate sniffed and then swallowed, forcing the tears away. She was not going to start crying in the middle of the precinct.

Her mind wandered back to Castle. Where was he? He never went this long without contact, and that made her nervous. She knew that she had blind-sided him with her announcement the night before, but his reaction, it had… surprised her, the strength of it. He had instantly shut down and ran from the situation. That was usually her modus operandi. She knew he would be surprised, but hadn't expected the blank, pale look on his face.

She wondered about it. The emotions he had purposefully withheld from his face. That was so unlike him. Usually she could read him like a book, and the fact that he had shut her out made her think that something was wrong.

But what could that be? If she was honest with herself, she knew that her marriage would change her relationship with Castle. They had a tendency to flirt and tease each other, and some of that would probably dwindle. A small part of her could admit she would miss that, but they would still be friends, still be partners.

Though his lack of emotion, and the shutting down and running, told her that maybe he thought otherwise.

_Maybe he loves you_, a voice whispered somewhere in the back of her brain. It sounded suspiciously like Lanie. But she shoved it away. After last spring, at the beginning of the Hamptons fiasco, he had proven to her that they were just friends, just partners. And she had gotten over him, gotten over what she had almost done, and settled back into their partnership with a new outlook. She had moved on.

_But maybe… No._ She refused to go there, refused to listen to the Lanie voice in her head. _Shut up, Lanie._

Maybe she should take a break and go talk through all of this _with_ Lanie. But she shook her head, not sure she was ready for that. Lanie had a way of 'hitting the nail on the head' with her insights into Kate's personal life, and it wasn't always comfortable to hear or deal with.

No, she should really talk to Castle about all of this.

Kate looked back at her phone, sliding her thumb across the screen to wake it up. She looked at her text messages and saw that she didn't have any new ones. She chewed on her lip, wondering if she should just text Castle and get it over with. As she was contemplating this, the phone buzzed in her hand and she nearly jumped.

Castle.

She sighed softly and tapped on the screen to open his text. _Sorry I didn't come in today, got caught up writing._

She frowned at his abrupt message then tapped one back to him. _It's okay. It's really slow today. You'd be bored out of your mind. I'll call you if we catch a body._

She sat, waiting for his reply, but it never came. Her eyebrows furrowed with her frown, and she sat the phone down on her desk and then reached over for a pen. She stuck the end of the pen in her mouth and chewed on the cap, contemplating his lack of response to her text. He _always_ texted her back, like the long-winded man that he was. Maybe something had happened to him. Maybe he'd been kidnapped by an axe murderer, or the CIA, or aliens, or… She stopped herself. _You're not the writer, Kate,_ she reminded herself. _He probably just needs some space. You did drop a bomb on him last night._

She sighed again and sat forward, reaching across her desk for the last little stack of paperwork. If he wasn't coming in to entertain her, she'd better find something to do.

* * *

That night, Kate arrived home to her empty apartment, and tossed her keys on the table by the door before shrugging out of her jacket. She hung it up in the closet and toed off her heels, kicking them into the corner by the door. Then she stared into the space of her apartment, a frown on her face.

_Now what?_ she thought. They hadn't caught a case all day, and she'd finished all of her paperwork, so she had been able to leave a little early. Josh was working, so she was going to have to find something for herself for dinner. But she wasn't really hungry yet. She was worried and nervous. She wanted to talk to Castle, wanted to see him and make sure everything was okay— that they were okay. But he hadn't texted her since that one message before lunch and she wasn't sure how much space she should give him. Then she wondered if he would be in to work the next day. God, she hated to think it, but she really hoped a body would drop soon so she had an excuse to call him, a reason for him to come to work with her.

Beckett whirled around at the knock on the door, her heart stuttering slightly at the abrupt interruption to her thoughts. She had been so lost in them that the knock just a few feet behind her had startled her.

She peeked quickly through the peephole in the door and her sigh of relief was immediate. She reached for the locks and pulled the door open.

"Castle," she breathed.

He looked uncomfortable and… and… scared? She bit her lip and stared at him.

"Can I come in?" he asked finally.

She nodded and took a step back, letting him through. As he passed close by, the smell of alcohol swirled around her. She frowned.

"Castle, are you drunk?"

He turned back to her, looking embarrassed and a little guilty, with his hands tucked into his jacket pockets. He ducked his head. "No, I, uh, I was at the Old Haunt. I had a few drinks. But I'm not drunk." He looked back up at her.

She nodded shortly as she studied him. That light was still gone from his eyes and she found no traces of the humor that she was so accustomed to seeing on him. It made her even more nervous than before.

His eyes dropped to the ring on her finger. She had unconsciously been twisting it again, but stopped immediately when his gaze fell on her hand. She tried very hard not to put her hand behind her back where he couldn't see it.

"Is Josh here?" he asked, looking around the apartment for the doctor.

"No, he's working," she replied, her voice softer than before.

Castle bobbed his head once in a sharp nod. "Good. I need to talk to you."

"I gathered that, Castle. Do you want to sit down?"

He shook his head. "No, I uh—I just need to get this out, okay?"

_Uh-oh,_ she thought. She nodded her consent for him to continue.

"I'm not going to shadow you anymore. I'm… I'm quitting," he said, his voice hushed as he stared at her.

She felt the blood draining from her face as she took one small, stumbling step backwards. She stared at his face, unable to look away, as the blood rushed in her ears, the sound a roar in the quiet apartment.

She had not been expecting that. At all.

"What are you talking about?" she finally managed when her voice decided to cooperate.

"I can't do it anymore, Beckett." His voice was strained and his eyes were tight with pain. She didn't miss his use of her last name. _Distancing himself_, she thought numbly.

"I've shadowed you on something like 50 cases. That's plenty of research for my Nikki Heat books. Or any other books I might write." He stopped, but she remained silent. She couldn't speak, something in her chest hurt too much.

"Gina thinks I need to focus on my writing, and she's right." Something flickered painfully inside of Kate at the mention of Gina. "I've been putting so much time in at the station that I'm behind. Writing one book a year is pretty slow for someone like me. I need to get back to that, focus on that, instead of playing 'Cops' with you."

Her eyes burned. The tears were at bay, but something was pressing on them, making them hot and gritty. She blinked. "Playing 'Cops' with me?" she finally managed to say, her voice quieter than she wished. She wanted to yell and scream at him. "That's what you've been doing?" she asked.

He glanced away from her, looked at their feet. "You know what I mean."

"No. No, I don't know what you mean, Castle." She stepped forward this time, finding her anger. She grabbed hold of it like a life raft in a hurricane. "You're my _partner_," she spit out the words, poking him in the chest. "And partners have each other's backs. They don't abandon ship when things get rough."

He swallowed. "I'm not a cop, Kate. I was never your partner. Not really."

She stumbled back again, her eyes wide. This time the tears were there, pressing against the back of her eyes. She didn't let them fall. "You don't mean that," she whispered, nearly choking on the words.

"I—" He lifted a hand helplessly towards her. "No, I don't. I just… I can't do this anymore, Kate. It's too much." She could see the pain in his eyes, and the tears that matched hers. He glanced down at the ring on her hand again and then straightened. He met her eyes and she could see the renewed determination there. "I'm sorry, Beckett."

She didn't say anything, so he moved past her, towards the door. When his hand reached for the knob, she spoke to his back.

"Please," she whispered, the sound broken and pitiful, even to her ears.

He froze and seemed to hesitate, but after a second, his shoulders tensed and he spoke. "I hope you have a wonderful life, Kate." Then he opened the door and was gone.

She stared at the door for a moment before crumpling to the floor, her tears finally winning out.

* * *

Castle stood on the other side of the closed door, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't make his feet cooperate and walk away.

And then he heard her broken sobs coming through the barrier between them and he sank to the floor in front of her door. He wanted to turn around, go back inside and gather her up in his arms and rock her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, that he would stay, that he would work with her and do whatever she needed him to do, as long as he got to stay in her life.

But he couldn't. He couldn't do that to himself. It would kill him, watching her marry Josh, eventually watching her grow round and soft with another man's child. He would never survive that, any of it.

He wasn't so sure he would survive this either, but he had to try. He had to try and move on with his life.

Even if he knew he would never love someone the way he loved her.

He picked himself up off the floor and walked away.

* * *

**End Note:** Ahhh! I hope I didn't break your heart too much with this one. It was difficult to write, that's for sure. I apologize if I made Castle out to be a total asshat, but I was writing from Kate's perspective, so I couldn't input his thoughts into it so you could understand his motivation. Hopefully that will clear itself up in further chapters! Let me know what you thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Kate awoke to the sound of her cell phone ringing at five a.m. the following morning. She tried opening her eyes as she reached for it, but it felt like someone had poured salt into them. She groaned and shut them again as she fumbled around for the source of the ringing. When she finally found it, she brought it to her ear.

"Beckett." She rubbed her gritty eyes with her free hand.

"Hey boss. Sorry to wake you, but we got a body," Esposito said.

"Where?" she asked, and listened as he rattled off the address. She repeated it a few times in her head to memorize it, and then said, "I'll be there soon."

She hung up the phone and quickly typed a text message to herself with the address, just in case.

Then her hand dropped to the bed and she lay back, blinking up at the ceiling. Her eyes were really dry and there was a pressure behind them. She could feel a headache already building up.

_That's what happens when you cry yourself to sleep and then only get three hours of sleep_, she reminded herself.

After Castle left her place yesterday, Kate had sat on the floor and let all of the pain flow out of her. She'd finally been able to drag herself up and into the shower about an hour after he left. As the water whirled down the drain, she had tried to scrub the misery down with it. The rest of the evening had been spent on the couch, numbly watching whatever was on the television. None of it had registered in her mind, and the numbness kept everything else at bay. Until bedtime.

When she lay down to sleep, the tears had started fresh, and she couldn't keep them from falling. They had clogged her chest, and her nose, making her feel like hell, but she welcomed the physical discomfort in hopes that it would overshadow the emotional pain. She had wondered why it hurt so much, Castle leaving her, but had pushed the thought away, refusing to think about it. She also refused to wonder if she would cry like that if Josh left her. Instead she let the tears swamp her as she rode out the wave of despair.

The memory of the previous night caused Kate's hands to clench into fists and she felt like punching something. She wasn't this person. She didn't cry for hours when someone broke her hea—when someone walked away from her. She hadn't cried this much since her moth—No. She was not going to go there. She was going to get up and be a big girl and do her job. With or without a partner.

She shoved herself up off the bed and towards the bathroom. Maybe another hot shower would help.

Somewhere deep inside, she knew nothing would help. But she was going to find time later in the day to go a few rounds with a punching bag.

* * *

Beckett stared down at the body, noting the pattern of bruises along the victim's arms and the blood around the fingernails. The woman had put up a hell of a fight.

"What've we got, Lanie?"

"Stab wounds to the chest and stomach. Five, to be more precise. Looks like a fairly small blade, though it was big enough to do the damage. Fatal wound is this one here," she said as she pointed the one closest to the victim's heart.

Kate nodded. "She put up a fight," she said as she gestured towards the victim's hands.

"Yeah, I'll make sure to scrape under her nails and send whatever I get to the lab."

"Any I.D.?"

"Not that I can find."

Ryan and Esposito walked up. "Morning, Beckett."

"You got anything?" she asked, forgoing any greetings. Ryan raised his eyebrows slightly at Esposito, who shrugged.

She sighed. Her voice must've been harder than she intended. She refused to take this out on her friends. It wasn't their fault her partner had walked out on her.

"Sorry. What've you got?" she asked, this time sounding like Detective Beckett, not like a crazy woman who'd only had three hours of sleep.

The boys took turns relaying all of the information they had found, from who discovered the body to the different buildings they were going to need to canvas for witnesses. When they were finished, Kate started to divvy up the tasks she wanted them to do, but Esposito interrupted her. "Where's your boy?"

"What?" Kate looked up quickly. She didn't want to do this yet.

"Castle. He's usually here by now."

Kate reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose between her fingers and thumb. "He's not coming."

They all remained silent, waiting for her to tell them why. Kate shrugged and figured now was as good a time as any to let them all in on the secret. "He quit."

"He did what?" Lanie asked incredulously, standing up from her crouched position near the body. She stepped over it and came up next to Kate. She wanted to put her hand on Kate's arm, but she was still wearing her gloves.

"Apparently he shadowed me for long enough and has plenty of research to write his Nikki Heat books. He's not getting enough writing done because he spends too much time at the station. So he quit to focus on his writing."

"That's bullshit," Lanie said, her tone steely.

"Bastard," Esposito grumbled.

Kate gave her friends a small smile. "Thanks guys, but it's okay. I'm alright." And then, "Now, let's get back to work. Ryan, I want you—" She straightened her spine and split up their duties, moving on with the case.

If Castle could move on, so could she.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Lanie called Kate down to the morgue. When the detective arrived, Lanie didn't waste any time telling her about the body and everything that she had discovered. She relayed the information precisely and without preamble. Kate knew Lanie wanted to get it out of the way so she could get to the interrogation.

Kate sighed as Lanie wrapped up, knowing what was coming. Instead of trying to run from the situation, she hopped up onto an empty exam table and waited her friend out.

"So, girl, what the hell is going on?"

Kate looked down at her hands and picked at her fingernails. "I told you earlier what he said."

"Yeah, but we all know that's bullshit. Tell me everything."

Kate looked up at her friend. "He came to my apartment last night and told me he was quitting, that he wasn't going to shadow me anymore. I asked him what he was talking about and he threw himself into this speech about needing to write more, that only writing one novel a year was not enough and that he had plenty of research for all of his Nikki Heat books, or any other books he decides to write. He said that _Gina_ thinks he needs to focus on his writing."

Lanie heard the sting in Kate's voice and she sighed. She came to Kate and leaned next to her on the table, resting her hand on Kate's thigh. "Oh, honey. I'm sorry."

Kate just nodded, because her eyes were filling with tears. "You want to know the worst part?" Her voice was low and strained.

Lanie just nodded.

"He said he needed to focus on his writing instead of _playing_ 'Cops' with me." Lanie snorted, giving her opinion on that. "So I told him that he was my partner, that partners don't just jump ship when things get tough. And you know what he said to me?"

"Do I want to know?" Lanie asked, and wrapped her arm around Kate's shoulders, as if to brace herself.

Kate's voice stuttered on the tears. "He said he wasn't my partner, because he was never actually a cop."

"He said what?" Lanie said, her voice close to screeching. "I am going to kick his ass the next time I see him! Scratch that, I'm going to go find him just so I can kick his ass! Please tell me you put him in his place after that."

Kate shook her head and wiped at the wetness on her face. "No. I—I couldn't… I couldn't believe it, that he would say that. And then he left. He told me to have a wonderful life and then he walked out." Kate reached up with both hands this time, burying her face in them so she could finish out the tears.

Lanie just stood with her, rubbing her back gently. After a few minutes, Kate lifted her head.

"I am so sick of crying over that asshole," she grit out between her teeth.

"Good," Lanie said and pat her on the back once before coming to stand in front of her. "No more tears, Detective Beckett. Buck up. And after work, we'll run to the store for some ski masks and a shovel and we'll bury the fucker. I know some great places to hide a body."

Kate laughed then and reached out to hug her friend quickly. "Thank you. I needed that."

"But seriously, girl. If you want me to go kick his ass, I will. Or we can send Javi to do it. You know he'd relish the chance."

Kate shook her head. "No. I'm going to move on. I still have my job and my friends. I'm going to forget all about Richard Castle and move on with my life."

"What about Josh?"

Kate looked up, her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You said you still have your job and your friends, but you didn't mention Josh. You know, the guy you're going to marry."

"Yeah, I mean, of course, I still have Josh," Kate sputtered. "I just meant… in a work-related capacity."

"Uh-huh." Lanie raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What, Lanie?" Kate asked exasperatedly.

"Nothing." Lanie made a face. "I just—I wonder."

"What?" Kate threw her hands up. "Spit it out, Lanie."

"Do you really want to marry Josh?"

Kate's jaw dropped. "I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to."

"I know that." Lanie frowned and turned to pace in front of her friend. "I just think… I just wonder if you're settling. I mean, he is gorgeous. He's a doctor. He's a very nice person. But I never thought you were actually _in_ love with him. And so when you told us you were getting married, I was genuinely surprised. I never thought your relationship would get that far."

"Why would I stay with someone and work on a relationship with them if I wasn't intending on finding forever with them?"

"I know, honey. I mean, that's what we all do. Look for our forever person. But I really thought that eventually you and Castle would—"

"Look, Lanie, I appreciate your concern, but it's unfounded. There was never anything between Castle and me, and there never will be. He's moved on, and I love Josh. And I _am_ going to marry him."

Lanie held up her hands in surrender. "Okay. I was just checking. I wouldn't want my best friend to make a mistake like that without first considering all the options. That's all. You know I love you, honey, and if you love Josh and you want to marry him, then I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," Kate said quietly. "I need to get back to work." She hopped down from the empty table and started out, trying to push back the feeling of betrayal. She knew Lanie meant well. She was only trying to be a friend.

"Kate?"

She stopped and turned to look back at Lanie.

"I am sorry. If you need anything, anytime, you'll call me, won't you?"

Kate smiled. "Yes, Lanie. I promise." With that, she turned and walked out.

* * *

**End Note:** Don't you just love Lanie? I find it incredibly easy to write her voice. What do you think? Did I do all right? (Yes, I am fishing for reviews, haha.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Several of you left comments saying that you weren't completely satisfied with certain aspects of my story. I have taken your comments into consideration and tried to look at the rest of this story through your eyes.

So basically I have done a major re-write of the entire rest of the story. When I first posted chapter one, I had the story complete. All it needed was a run-through from my beta. But after her replies and all of your responses, things have gotten crazy around here. I've spent hours writing and re-writing this story. Then something pops up and I change something, which completely alters a chapter I just thought I had finished. Plus, I've decided to add another chapter. So in the end, this story will total eight chapters.

Some of you weren't satisfied with how things were working out, but I took all of your constructive comments into account and hope that I've fixed some of the things you wanted to see. And if you don't see them here, in chapter four, don't worry, because you'll have four more chapters after that, and hopefully I'll be able to fix everything by the end.

I really appreciate all the reviews and hope you keep them coming! You had excellent suggestions and concerns and your comments make me think. You're making me a better writer. So thank you!

**This chapter takes place a few weeks after the last chapter ended.**

* * *

Kate stepped out of the shower, wrapping her body in a towel she had pulled from the rack. She reached out with her free hand and wiped the steam off the mirror. She knew she would regret the hand prints later, but right now she needed to look at herself. She let the towel drop from her body and used it to wring the excess water from her hair as she studied herself in the mirror.

Her hip bones were protruding farther than normal and she could count her ribs easily. Over the last few weeks she had lost some weight and it annoyed her. Most of the time she was proud of her body, proud of the work she put into it and glad for the good genes she'd inherited. She wanted her body to stay the way she liked it, because when she got this thin, she looked almost sick. But she couldn't help it. Food was just not appealing to her anymore. Nothing ever sounded good. Everything she ate she basically had to force herself to consume, because she knew she needed the energy. But she gained no enjoyment out of it.

On top of all that, the dark circles beneath her eyes were showing themselves quite dramatically without the cover of make-up. She pressed her fingers gently under her eyes, pushing on the dark smudges as if she could erase them with her fingertips.

She met her own eyes in the mirror. "You look like hell," she whispered to herself. And then she sighed, dropping her gaze and wrapping the towel around herself again. She wanted to sleep, she really did. She was so tired. But every time she lay down, her mind refused to shut off and it would be hours before she fell asleep. It happened every night, without fail. Even when she forced herself not to think about _him_. Sometimes it worked, and she didn't think of him, but the tension from trying not to think about him would keep her awake. It was a never-ending battle.

And she was tired of fighting it. Tonight she was going to give in.

She entered her bedroom and was grateful once again for the fact that Josh had to work. She just needed her space, some alone time to let herself give in to the pain and the memories and the confusion she felt about all of it. She walked to her dresser to pull out underwear and a pair of the yoga pants she liked to wear to bed. She slipped them on, and then headed to her closet for a pajama shirt.

As she stood there, studying her options, she reached for something in the back of the closet. When she pulled it out, she stared at it, weighing the choice. _Should I really be that pathetic? _she wondered. And then she shrugged. If she was giving in tonight, she was going to go all in.

Kate took the shirt from the hanger and then slipped it over her shoulders. She buttoned it up and then stared at herself in the full-length mirror in her bedroom.

She really was a sad, sad little person, standing there in Richard Castle's long-sleeved button-up shirt. When she had lived with him after her apartment had blown up, the shirt had somehow made its way into her possession. A laundry mix-up, she supposed. She'd brought it back to her new place in her suitcase and when she unpacked it, she almost put it by the door to take with her to work to give back to him. But something had stopped her and she'd hung it in her closet instead.

And every now and then, when she was particularly in need, she would wear it for comfort. After she had broken up with Tom, and Castle left for the Hamptons with Gina. After arresting Royce. After nearly losing Castle to the Triple Killer. After almost dying in a freezer and then in the face of a bomb all in one day. After Royce was killed. Now.

It didn't smell like him, because it had been washed several times, but wearing it made her feel close to him somehow. She hated herself a little for needing it, but tonight she giving up the fight.

She walked to the bed and lay down, wet hair and all. She gathered up her phone and brought up the photo album on it. She started clicking through the album until she found what she wanted. A few months before Castle had left, Ryan had taken a picture of Kate and Castle smiling at the Old Haunt after closing a case. He had texted the picture to her and now she was very glad she had saved it.

She studied their faces, seeing the happiness in both of them. Ryan had waved his phone at them, said he wanted a picture. They had indulged him with smiles on their faces. Castle's arm was slung around her shoulders and she had looped her arm around his waist. They looked content, she thought. Relaxed and happy to just be there together, with their friends, celebrating a closed case.

God, she missed him.

She let her mind wander as she looked at the picture. She thought of the changes in her body, the loss of appetite, the lack of sleep. And she finally admitted to herself that the reason she was falling apart was because she loved him.

Kate played with the ring on her finger and thought of Josh. She loved him, too, she really did. She said she would marry him, because he was strong, and steady, and loved her back. She trusted him. And she was going to go through with the wedding, had planned to all along.

She'd just never expected to come to this realization about Castle.

Esposito's words from the previous year came back to haunt her. _Why do you think he's been following you around all this time? What, research? The guy's done enough research to write fifty books. Look, whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't include watching you be with another guy._

Before Castle had left for the Hamptons, Kate had been about to take a chance on him, having believed Esposito's words. But Castle left anyway, with another woman, and Kate had poured all of her energy into getting over him. She hadn't had time to tell him how she felt, but he had to have known. What else would she have been about to tell him before Gina walked up? He could read her so easily, so why hadn't he seen what was written across her face?

With time, she had gotten over him, or so she'd thought. And Castle had come back and things had been good for awhile, better even. They'd grown closer as friends and really found their niche as partners.

But then he'd left again. Castle had left, had walked out on her, something she never thought he would do again. Not after last summer, not after everything they'd been through since. _Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me_, she thought. That was enough to prove to her that Castle didn't love her, didn't want her. Especially since she thought he was the one who would "always" be there for her.

Instead it was Josh who hadn't gone to Haiti. Josh who'd stayed for her, proving that _he_ loved her and wanted her.

She pulled the phone to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut tight. She didn't want to cry again, didn't want to give in to the weakness, but she couldn't help it. Tonight she was going to let herself feel.

* * *

Richard Castle sat in his office with his head slumped in his hands, elbows propped on his desk. The past few weeks had been pure hell and he was struggling to keep his head above water. Oh, he put on a good show for everyone around him. For his mother, for his daughter, for Gina and Paula, and the press. But when he was alone, he let the grief swamp him.

Because that's what he felt. Grief. Like he had lost something—no, someone, forever, and was never going to get her back. She was out there, somewhere, alive and healthy, but it was almost as if she were dead. Dead to him. Gone from his life.

What he had to live with was that he had done it to himself.

So many times over the last few weeks, he had found himself reaching for his phone, telling himself that he could handle her marriage to Josh, if he could just be back in her life. But every time something stopped him from calling her. He had hurt her, he knew that now. The sobs he heard the night he left were a pretty clear indication of that.

But it would hurt _him_ to see her marry Josh.

No, it was better that he be out of her life forever. She was probably glad he was gone after what he had put her through. And some day, God, he hoped it was soon; some day he would get over her and really, truly move on with his life.

Until then…

He lifted his head and opened the laptop that was sitting in front of him on the desk. His used his fingers to pull up a folder he had titled "Nikki Heat Inspiration." Inside the folder was what he had dubbed (in his head, only) his 'Shrine to Katherine Beckett.' There were multiple documents that held scraps of information he had gathered over the years. Information about Kate's history, information about things she liked. Some anecdotes from things she had done or said during a case (or during a private moment.) All the things he thought were interesting about her; which was pretty much everything.

He smiled sadly as he clicked through some of the documents, reading snippets of things she had said to him at one time or another. After awhile, he sighed, and brought the main folder back up. Inside his 'Shrine', he had a folder titled 'Pictures.' He hesitated a moment before he pulled it up.

Inside this folder were pictures he had collected of Kate over the years they had worked together. Some he had taken on his phone, others he had gathered from a variety of sources. He felt sort of creepy knowing there was a folder like this on his computer, but he kept it well-hidden, and would never, ever in a million years show it to anyone, much less the detective herself.

He scrolled through the photos, smiling softly as he went, before he stopped on the one he wanted to see specifically. It was a picture Ryan had taken of him and Beckett at the Old Haunt during a post-case celebration. Ryan had texted him the picture afterwards and Rick remembered how he had grinned his butt off when he got in the cab to go home and saw it. He had immediately e-mailed it to himself and saved it in on his computer, for times like these, when he wanted to see a happy Kate.

But now, looking at the photo, he felt a pang in his heart. They looked so happy, so content in the picture, and he wanted to go back to that moment and never leave it again. He wanted those times back, before Josh had even been around.

Castle sighed and closed out of the picture, and then the folder, before shutting down his computer. He stood up, grabbed his phone, and headed into his bedroom. He quickly changed into some pajamas, and then threw himself down on the bed, his phone back in his hand. He rolled onto his back, and brought up the text message that Ryan had sent him all those months ago with the picture in it.

He stared at her image on the phone, before gently running his finger over her face in the picture. He wished it was her skin instead of the plastic screen, but he would make do with what he had.

God, he missed her.

Suddenly Castle felt tears burning the back of his eyes, so he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the phone up to his chest. Tonight he was going to let himself remember everything. Then maybe he could start to forget.

* * *

**End Note:** Remember, if you didn't see what you wanted in this chapter, there's still four more to go. So hold on tight! I'll post them as soon as they're finished and beta'd. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** This is a pretty short chapter, but I felt it was a necessary one to further explain some things that were missing from earlier chapters. Enjoy!

* * *

Castle stood behind the bar at the Old Haunt, wiping down the scuffed wood with a ragged, but clean washcloth. He had started spending more time at the bar he owned now that he wasn't occupied by shadowing his favorite detective. Some nights he would tend bar, and others he would spend downstairs in the office he loved, going over the books. And every once in awhile, he would sit in the back corner booth with a bottle of scotch and get shit-faced. But he tried not to let that happen too often.

He was going to close the bar as soon as the last few stragglers left. Castle looked up when the bell tinkled above the doorway, announcing more customers. He was about to tell whoever came in that it was closing time, but his mouth quickly snapped shut when he saw the two men by the door.

Castle met the gazes of Detectives Ryan and Esposito. He tried to smile, but found his heart was hammering too hard to allow it. He wondered briefly if they were planning on kicking his ass. Whatever they had in mind, he planned to just lay there and let them.

The partners sidled up to the bar.

"Castle."

"Hey guys."

They each slipped onto a stool.

"Want a drink?"

"Beer's fine," Esposito said. Ryan nodded his agreement.

Castle walked to the end of the bar, grabbing their preferred brews, and twisted the tops off the bottles. He walked back and handed them their drinks. When they remained silent, he cleared his throat.

"So, how's life?"

"Seriously, bro?" asked Esposito, making a face at Castle.

Castle shrugged. "I don't know what to say."

"How about explaining yourself?" Ryan offered.

"What do you want to know?" Castle asked with a sigh of defeat.

"Why'd you leave?" Ryan asked.

"I think you both know why I did what I did."

"We'd like to hear it from you," Esposito replied.

Castle wiped rigorously at a sticky spot on the counter. Then he stopped and slumped forward, his arms stretched out in front of him, elbows locked as he leaned against the bar. His head dangled down and he shook it slowly.

"I couldn't stay and watch her marry another man."

"Told you," Ryan said quickly to Esposito.

But no money changed hands. They hadn't bet on it. The thought made Castle smile, so he lifted his head to stare at his friends.

"Did you really think I left because I was bored?" Castle asked Esposito.

Javier shook his head. "Naw. Not really. But I wanted to hear it from you. We have to work with her every day, and it's not pretty. So I get a little defensive about it, ya know?"

Castle nodded. "You have every right to be upset with me. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to kick my ass right now."

"I still kinda do," Esposito said, but he was grinning.

"Would I make it any easier on you if I just bent over and took it?"

"Dude! That's messed up," Ryan said, and the three men laughed. After a moment, their faces grew serious again.

"How is she?" Castle asked quietly.

"I dunno. She looks exhausted and I don't think she's eating much," Esposito said.

"She tries to put up a front when we're around, but we know her too well," Ryan finished.

Castle rubbed his hands hard over his face. He wasn't sure why, but their admission frustrated him. What right did she have to be so upset? She had everything – scratch that – every_one_ she wanted. When she had announced her engagement, he had felt a sense of betrayal. He loved her, and thought that she loved him, too, that she would eventually come around to the realization. But obviously she didn't love him, so why would she quit eating and sleeping? Castle welcomed the anger over the wave of guilt that was gnawing at his guts.

"Seriously?" he finally said, though it was less of a question than an exclamation of annoyance.

"What, you expected her to be fine and dandy?" Esposito asked.

Castle huffed out a breath of air, the anger washing out of him suddenly. He was just so tired. Of everything.

"No… I… I don't know. God, she's the one marrying someone else. Even if I'm the one who left, she's the one who let me go." He paused for a second when something occurred to him. "She _is_ still marrying him, right?"

Javier scratched the back of his neck. "She's still wearing the ring."

Castle felt his hope die, scattered around his feet like ashes.

"We haven't seen him around, though," Ryan said.

"He never came around that often before," Castle responded.

The detectives nodded their agreement, and then both took swigs of their beers. Ryan started peeling the label on his.

"What's a matter, Kev? You sexually frustrated or something?" Esposito asked Ryan with a smirk on his face.

Kevin balked. "What?"

"That's what they say about people who pick the labels. They're sexually frustrated," Esposito teased, drawing out the last two words.

"Shut it, Espo. Jenny and I do just fine."

"I bet you do," Javier muttered. Castle chuckled, and then reached out his hand. Esposito fed the birds.

Ryan frowned, but immediately quit picking at the label on his bottle.

After a moment, he said, "You should come back, Castle."

A pained look crossed Castle's face. "I can't, Ryan."

"She'd take you back," he insisted.

Castle shook his head. "I'm not so sure about that. I think the things I said to her… I think I may have damaged us beyond repair. Plus," he paused and cleared his throat, because he was starting to sound gruff, "I honestly don't think I could handle it. I can't watch that. I… I love her too much," he said, his voice ending on a whisper.

"Did you tell her that?" Ryan asked, always the hopeless romantic.

"No. I couldn't. She obviously loves him, or she wouldn't be marrying him. I can't deal with that… and I don't want to ruin that for her. I want her to be happy."

"I don't think she's very happy right now, bro," Esposito said.

"Give her time. Once she's married, she'll forget all about me."

"I don't know about that," Esposito said, his eyebrows raised as he drained the rest of his beer. "But if that's what you want to do…"

"It is. I can't ruin her life anymore than I have already."

Ryan frowned again, his brows creasing with it. "This sucks," he finally said.

"Tell me about it," Castle replied, and took Esposito's empty bottle. Ryan finished his beer, and then handed it to Castle.

"Well, we better head out. Looks like you're about to close down," Javier said as he slipped off the bar stool.

"Yeah." Castle looked around, surprised to see that all the other customers had left. Once his friends had walked in, he'd forgotten about everyone else. He looked up at the two men. "Thanks for coming in, guys. I appreciate it."

"No prob, man. We just had to make sure you didn't need a beat down," Esposito said as Ryan stood.

"Don't be a stranger, okay?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah. Same to you," Castle replied sadly. He really did miss them. And the work. And, of course, _her_.

"Later," Esposito said, and then they were out on the sidewalk, leaving him in the silence of the bar.

Castle sighed and walked to the door to lock up.

* * *

**End Note:** The next three chapters are giving me a helluva time, but I am really hoping they will be ready to publish tomorrow. I haven't decided yet whether I will publish them all at once or not. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this short chapter. I promise the next one is super long and more than makes up for it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** This chapter takes place a few weeks after the last chapter ended. Josh features pretty heavily in this chapter, but you'll be okay with it, I think, so keep reading.

There is no possible way for me to describe to you what this chapter did to me. I have re-written it at least 10 times. After all that, I have absolutely no faith whatsoever in this chapter. I am merely posting it because if I have to look at it for one more second, I am going to scream. So… here it is. I hope you like it, but I won't blame you if you don't.

* * *

Kate sat on the couch in her living room, her head resting against Josh's thigh as they watched a movie. His fingers were running absently through her hair and she felt content, and cozy, and close to sleep.

A few minutes later the credits began to roll on the screen, and she was about to suggest they head to bed, when Josh started talking. "Hey Kate?"

"Yeah?" she asked as she rolled over to look up at him.

"Can we talk?" His voice sounded serious, so she sat up.

"Sure." She rested her legs against his. "What's up?" She picked up his hand and started fiddling with his fingers. In the past few weeks, she had come to terms with her feelings about Castle, and was trying to put more effort into her relationship with Josh.

Josh sighed. "Doctors Without Borders called."

She sucked in a sharp intake of breath and dropped his hand. She stared at him, but he wouldn't quite meet her gaze. "And?"

"They want me to go to Somalia. There's been a recent rise in malnutrition, and they're in dire need of doctors. As a cardiac surgeon, I'd be extremely useful there."

"For how long?"

"A month. Maybe two, depending on how bad it is."

"Josh—"

"There are children, Kate, who need heart operations. There are parents who need heart operations, and if they die, there will be no one to take care of their children. There are war-wounded soldiers who need operations. And my skills, Kate, are valuable over there."

"Soldiers?" Kate whispered.

Josh looked down. "Doctors Without Borders doesn't always go to the most peaceful places, but we stay in the clinics with the patients. It's safe, for the most part."

"For the most part," she repeated. He didn't answer her. "When you—when you asked me to marry you, you told me you were done with all that."

"I know, Kate. And I meant it. But I can't look at these people who _need_ me, and say no to them. I can save lives there, Kate, just like you save people here."

"Don't you think _I_ need you?"

"Kate." His voice sounded almost stern, like he was scolding her.

She stood up and shook her head. "No, Josh. I'm your fiancé. I love you. We need to pick out a caterer for the wedding, and solidify the location in the next month or two. We're supposed to be planning our wedding and I can't do that with you clear across the world!" And then her voice softened slightly. "I don't want to do all that without you."

"Kate, really. Wedding plans are not as important as famine and war."

_He missed the whole point, didn't he?_ she thought. It wasn't about the wedding, and it wasn't about the plans. If he went away too, what would she have left?

"So this wedding isn't important to you?" Kate knew his international aid work was important, but dammit, she needed him to be home with her, and she didn't care how she made that point.

A small voice inside of her told her she was being irrational, that Josh being gone for a month or two wasn't forever, wasn't the same as Castle leaving. But she'd been left behind too many times for rationality to fight its way through to her.

Josh stood now, to be on even ground with her. "I did _not_ say that, Kate. You're putting words into my mouth."

Panic bubbled inside of her, causing her to spout out everything that tumbled through her mind, no matter how stupid it sounded, even to her.

"No, I get it, Josh. Our wedding is just some frivolous event that I can deal with, as the woman. You'll just show up the day I tell you to. Or will you? Maybe you'll be in Somalia, or Haiti, or somewhere else, saving lives and leaving me here to tell all of our friends that you have something better to do. Leaving me here, needing you—"

He cut her off with a bitter laugh. "That's perfect, Kate. Perfect. Like _you_ need me! You're a cop, remember? How many times have you reminded me of that? Acted like nothing was wrong after a case that nearly killed you? Avoided talking to me because you think you're so strong that you don't need anyone. But now, you're using your 'need' as a card to play against me."

Kate was stunned. She knew his emotions were flying right now, just as hers were, but she had never expected something like that to come from his mouth. He sounded so hurt and she wondered how much her actions in the past had damaged him.

"I'm not—I never meant to play you, Josh." Her voice was soft.

"Whatever, Kate. You've been moping around this place for the last couple of months, pushing me away when I try to ask you what's wrong. You barely eat, you barely sleep. You won't open up to me, but something is eating away at you. Unfortunately for you, I've pretty much figured out what's going on. One of your brothers in arms got a little drunk one night when we were all out and said a little too much. You've put on a good show these last few weeks, but we can all see who it is you'd rather be with, who you really need."

She stepped back as if he'd slapped her. "Castle isn't—"

"See! You don't even have the decency to pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about."

She threw her arms up in the air. "Would you rather I lied to you?" Her voice sounded incredulous.

"No, Kate! That's just it… I want you to be truthful with me. I want you to talk to me. I want you to lean on me. I want you to rely on _me_. I want you to _need_ me. You say you do, but it's pretty clear that you don't. You never have."

"If you feel that way, then why did you ask me to marry you?" She spit the words out, like they were venom on her tongue.

"Maybe I shouldn't have." The room went deathly silent. Not even the sounds from outside could permeate the chill that had just set into the room.

Kate sat down hard on the coffee table. "Wow," she muttered as she dropped her head into her hands, pushing her fingers through her hair. She tugged quickly, wanting to feel something other than the pain ripping through her chest.

"Kate." His voice was soft now, the fight having left him. "I didn't mean that."

"No." She chuckled darkly. "I think you did." She looked up at him, the pain stark in her eyes. "And you know what? I think you're right."

"Kate," he protested.

She shook her head again and stood up. She twisted the ring off her finger and handed it to him. "Here. You can have this back."

Her heart was shattering. It was happening all over again. But the part that killed her was the fact that she'd done it to herself. She'd fucked everything up. The realization was like a knife to the gut.

"No, Kate, I want you to have it. It's yours." He refused to open his hand to take the ring back. She shrugged and dropped it onto the coffee table. It clinked against the wood and spun for a moment before dropping on its side.

"We're through." She headed toward the kitchen, using her anger as a mask to escape the empty feeling she felt inside.

"Kate, let's talk about this." He followed her.

She calmly walked to the cupboard and took down a glass. She turned on the tap and let it run for a few moments, holding her fingers under the water to judge the temperature.

Her hands were shaking, but she ignored them. Too many thoughts were flying through her mind all at once, and she struggled to right herself. When the water she'd been running was finally cold, she filled up her glass and took a long, slow sip of it, trying to ease the ache in her throat. Turning around, Kate saw Josh was standing behind her, his eyes tight with pain.

"I want to marry you, Kate. I do. I won't go to Somalia if that's what you want. I'll stay here and we can go to cake tastings and find the perfect place to get married."

"That's not what you want." _That's not what I want,_ Kate finally realized.

He swallowed and shook his head. "No, it's not. But I want you more. And I'll do whatever it takes—"

"It will never work, Josh." Her voice sounded hollow to her ears. She so desperately wanted him to go away, to leave her alone, and let her think.

"What? Kate," he sputtered. He held out a hand towards her, but she evaded him.

"It's not fair for me to ask you not to go, when it's something you so obviously want to do, and something that is so important. It's selfish of me to ask you to stay here with me, when all of those people over there need your help. And if you go this time, and you say it's the last time, we both know it won't be. You'll go again, and again, and I'll be left here, wanting you. And I think…" She took a deep breath. "I think it's time for you to find someone who is okay with all of those things. Because I'm not that person. I'm not okay staying here, waiting. I'm not okay with loving someone from a distance." She set the glass of water on the counter behind her. "I won't do it."

"I'll stay, Kate." His voice was soft, pleading with her.

She shook her head. She was already letting him go. "No, you won't. Maybe this time. But it'll keep happening. And I can't stop you. I can't ask you to do that. I never should have asked that of you in the first place. But I _can_ ask you to go. I need to be alone now." Her strength was waning. She knew she would collapse in misery any moment and she wanted him gone before she did.

He stepped towards her, his fingers wrapping around her biceps. "Please, Kate."

"I'm sorry," she said, and struggled to keep the tears at bay. "But it's over, Josh. I can't marry you. I never should have told you I would."

She saw the flash of agony in his eyes and the guilt for what she had done to him, what she was doing to him, nearly choked her.

"Kate." With both hands holding her arms, he looked down into her eyes. Whatever he saw must have convinced him, because he bowed his head and closed his eyes. "I love you."

She reached up then, finally, and ran her fingers through his hair. He quickly took her face in his hands and kissed her roughly, fiercely, knowing it would be the last time he would ever get to. When he pulled away, he turned quickly, and walked out of her life.

When the door closed behind him, Kate blindly made her way to her cell phone. When she found it on the coffee table beside the ring he'd left, she reached for it and collapsed onto the couch.

She dialed a number and brought the phone to her ear with a shaky hand. After a few moments, the person on the other end answered. "Lanie—" Kate's voice broke. "I need you to come over." After a moment, she nodded slightly and hung up, before crumpling in on herself, and finally letting her tears fall.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, there was a frantic pounding on the door to her apartment. Kate pulled herself up to let her friend in, but she made no attempt to hide the tears that were running down her face and soaking into her t-shirt.

When she opened the door, Lanie took one look at her and whispered, "Oh, honey. What happened?"

Words couldn't get around the lump in her throat, so Kate merely held out her left hand to show her friend the empty finger. The next thing she knew, she was being enveloped in Lanie's arms. Kate opened up and let all of her grief pour onto her best friend's shoulder.

* * *

Kate pulled back from Lanie's embrace. They had made their way to the couch awhile ago and Kate had emptied the rest of her tears onto her best friend. "God, Lanie, I'm sorry."

"You know it's okay, girl. You needed that, I think."

Kate huffed out a small laugh and nodded. "Yeah." Her eyes rested on Lanie's shoulder. "Oh, look at your shirt."

Lanie brushed her hand across the wet spot. "It's okay." She smiled. "But, can I borrow a shirt?"

Kate wiped at her eyes. "I'll go get you one."

"And I'll get some wine. I think we deserve it."

The two women parted ways, one headed for her bedroom, the other headed for the kitchen. A few moments later, they met back at the couch, reinforcements in hand. They traded—a t-shirt to Lanie, a glass of wine to Kate. Lanie whipped the wet shirt over her head and slithered into the dry cotton, while Kate plopped back on to the couch, cupping the wine glass carefully.

When Lanie sat, and reached for her drink, Kate spoke. "Thank you," she said softly.

Lanie reached over and patted her hand. "That's what best friends are for."

Kate smiled sadly, twisting the stem of the glass around in her hand, though she was careful not to slosh the dark red liquid.

"You ready to tell me what happened?"

Kate brought a hand to her lips and began chewing on a fingernail. "First off, can I just say how much of an idiot I've been?"

"You got that right," Lanie said.

Kate's eyes widened in surprise as she looked at her friend. "What?"

"How about you tell me what happened and then we'll talk about why you're an idiot."

Kate frowned, studying Lanie across from her. "I thought you were on my side."

"I always am." Lanie gave her another pat. "But sometimes you deserve a swift kick in the rear. Now tell me."

"Josh wanted to go to Somalia. _Wants_ to go," she amended. "For another Doctors Without Borders mission. And I told him that I didn't want him to, that I wanted him to stay because I need him here."

Lanie raised her eyebrows, but remained silent.

"I know it's selfish of me to ask him to stay when the people over there need all the help they can get. But God, Lanie, I just want to be with someone who I can dive into things with, you know?"

Kate paused to rest her head against the back of the couch. "And I thought that Josh could be that person, once he told me he wasn't going to go on his mission trips anymore. But then he… he changed his mind about going, and I guess I felt betrayed, you know? I agreed to marry him because I thought he was going to stay here and really do this with me."

Kate sighed. "Except I made the mistake of making it about our wedding, like I needed him to stay here and help me with that or something. I don't even know what I said; I just kept spilling things out, anything that would seem like a good reason for him to stay. So I acted stupid and pissed him off, then I told him I needed him."

Lanie bit her lip and still didn't speak. So Kate barreled on.

"He said that I didn't need him, that I had never let myself need him. And he said I've been moping around in misery for the last couple of months, not sleeping or eating, not telling him what was wrong. But he figured out that Castle left. Ryan or Esposito told him, I'm not sure which."

"Ryan," Lanie replied.

Kate looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"Javi would have told me if he'd said something like that. Plus, I'm pretty sure I overheard Ryan going on about something like that one night when we were out. He was kinda tipsy."

Kate sighed. "Ryan then." She paused, finding her way back into the story. "Josh said I didn't need him, that it was clear from my behavior that I needed Castle. And that just… started the ball rolling. We started yelling and accusing each other of things and finally I asked him why he asked me to marry him and he said maybe he shouldn't have."

Kate looked up at her best friend. "And that's when I gave up."

"You decided to run before he could."

Kate nodded. "Yeah," she whispered. "I pushed him out so I didn't have to face the reality that it had happened again."

Kate took a deep breath, trying to steady her pounding heart. She didn't want to cry again. "It's hard for me to trust people, Lanie. After my mom died, I just… It's like a part of me shut down. I know she didn't choose to leave, but what happened to her…"

"I know, Kate." Lanie squeezed her hand, letting her know she didn't need to explain any further.

"I'm just so tired of the people I love leaving me." Kate rubbed a hand over her forehead, trying to keep the headache at bay.

Lanie smiled sadly at her. "I know it's hard for you, Kate, but sometimes… How about… Can we talk about why you're an idiot now?"

Kate huffed out a breath, making her lips vibrate. "If we must."

Lanie stroked a reassuring hand down Kate's arm. "This isn't all about Josh. He was right about that. You're refusing to see the truth. Castle didn't leave you because he's a jerk, or because he was tired of you, or bored with you. He left because he didn't want to see you with another man. He left because he loves you and was letting you go."

Kate's eyes fired up. "That's bullshit, Lanie. He left once, and then came back, promising me 'always', and then left again. I just told you I don't trust people easily and he keeps ripping my trust into tiny little pieces. How can I possibly believe that he loves me after that?"

"He promised you 'always'?" Lanie asked, her eyebrows rising in surprise.

Kate blushed slightly and picked at the material of her pants. "It wasn't… like that. It was just something we said. Almost like an inside joke, except… it wasn't really funny. It was about our partnership."

"I know you're hurting right now, honey, but you have to see what's right in front of you. When you told Castle you were marrying someone else, he ran away to escape his own pain. He promised you 'always', but it was something you didn't give him in return."

Kate sputtered. "But I—I did, I told him 'always' and it was… it was our thing. The thing we said and—"

Lanie cut her off. "Saying 'always' is a lot different than doing 'always', Kate."

Kate's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I had Josh. I loved him. Castle had let me down before and Josh never had. What was I supposed to do?"

"Follow your heart." Lanie stroked a hand over Kate's hair. "I know you love Josh, but I think you agreed to marry him because it was simple. He was easy and he was safe. But your heart was never all the way in it."

Kate frowned again, her eyebrows drawing together as she analyzed her friend's words.

"And this break-up with Josh… well, I hate to say this to you, but you could have easily avoided it if you wanted to. Josh going to Somalia for a month isn't the same as Josh _leaving_ you. You just chose to see it that way. I think you know – or maybe I just hope you realize – that Josh wasn't the one for you, Kate. He never was."

Kate nodded before leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. "I do. I realize that now," Kate mumbled. Then, "I kept him around because I was _needy_, not because I actually needed _him_. God, Lanie, am I that horrible?"

"No, Kate, you're not. You're just not very good at matters of the heart. Sometimes you purposefully blind yourself to what's in front of you, because you're too scared to face it. You think too much. You try too hard to find a place for everything, to tidily put all of your emotions in a box on a shelf in its perfect spot. Like the evidence room at the precinct. But that's not how love works, girlfriend. It's messy and confusing. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's painful. But if it's real, it's worth it. I know."

"Esposito, huh?"

"I think he's my one, Kate." Her smile was soft and sweet.

Kate reached over to squeeze her hand. "I'm so happy for you, Lanie."

Lanie smiled and squeezed back. "Me too. And that's what I want for you, Kate. To find your one."

"Me too," Kate whispered wistfully.

"I think I might know where you can find him."

Kate shook her head. "No. There's nothing you can say to me about this part, Lanie. I know I'm stubborn and I know I put my emotions in little boxes, but this one… This one I've spent the last seven weeks figuring out. Castle left me and I'm done with him."

Lanie sighed. "Alright. But maybe you should spend a little more time thinking on it. For me?"

Kate shrugged. "We'll see." She wasn't making any promises. Though as she sat there, she realized her best friend certainly had given her plenty to think about.

Instead of blaming all the men in her life, maybe she should start looking at her own actions.

"Want some more wine?" Lanie asked, despite the late hour.

"Yes, please," Kate replied and held up her glass.

Then the two friends sat and talked into the wee hours of the morning.

* * *

**End Note:** To those of you who may be worried about what Kate said there at the end, don't be! I promise I will fix it. Right now she's just hurting from the break-up and angry at life. She'll get over it. I promise!


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** This chapter takes place the day after the last one.

* * *

Castle heard a knock on the door to his loft, so he placed his laptop on the coffee table, and headed towards the sound. His mind was still focused on his story, so he didn't think to look through the peephole. Instead, he pulled the door wide open and let out an, "Oh," of surprise.

"Writer Boy."

"Lanie." He cleared his throat and studied her. She'd done something different with her hair since the last time he'd seen her. "Want to come in?" he finally asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

She brushed past him and entered his apartment. Castle reached up to scratch a hand through his hair, somewhat puzzled. He hadn't seen Lanie for weeks, not since before he left Kate, and he wondered if something was wrong. His heart pounded a little harder at the thought that maybe something had happened to Kate. But no—if that were true, Lanie would look more panicked.

"So, uh, what's up?" he asked, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. He knew this conversation was not going to be pretty, and going up against The Best Friend was a little scary.

She walked over to him and gave him a light slap on the cheek. "That's what's up, you jackass."

He bobbed his head as he rubbed his cheek. It hadn't hurt. It was more embarrassing than anything. "Yeah, I probably deserve that," he said, as his cheeks burned a little.

"More than that," Lanie scoffed. "I'd like to kick your ass, but there are more important things to attend to."

Castle dropped down onto the couch and patted the space across from him. "Take a load off, Dr. Parish."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, her arms folded across her chest, and he merely shrugged. She sighed in exasperation and sat down on the couch. "You look like hell," she said.

He grunted. "Ha. Thanks."

"You're not sleeping well, huh?"

He swallowed and looked at her. "Not really."

"Eating?"

"Nothing tastes good anymore. Or even really has a taste," he said.

"Join the club," Lanie said.

He raised an eyebrow. "You look well-rested to me, Lanie. And, as much as I hate to say this with the risk of being slapped again, you don't look like you haven't been eating."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"No, no. See. I can't win. I just meant that—"

"Shut it, Castle. I'm just messing with you."

He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little with relief. "You're a very beautiful woman. I don't think I need to tell you that."

"It never hurts a woman's ego to hear it." She grinned at him. After a moment, her face dropped all traces of humor. "I meant you can join that club with Kate."

His eyes searched hers. "The boys told me... but that was a few weeks ago. She's still not sleeping or eating?"

"She's so thin you can see all the bones in her body and the bags under her eyes could hold all of her clothes for a week's vacation."

Castle groaned slightly and lowered his head into his hands. He rubbed the palms of his hands hard into his eyes as the guilt ate at him once again. "Fuck," he muttered.

"Yeah. Fuck's right. You wrecked her when you left, Castle."

"She has Josh," he whispered.

Lanie reached over to pat his shoulder. "Had Josh," she corrected.

His head whipped up and his mouth went dry. "What? What happened?"

"They broke off their engagement last night."

"Why?" His voice sounded very close to a pained moan.

"Apparently he wanted to go to Somalia for Doctors Without Borders, even though he'd promised her he was done with that when he asked her to marry him. They fought and she broke it off. I went over afterwards to do damage control." She sighed, and looked to be hesitating over something.

"What?" he asked, though he wasn't sure why he was torturing himself by asking.

"I don't have to tell you that she usually keeps all of her emotions bottled up inside of her. But I had to borrow a shirt from her when she was done, because I was soaked from the bucket of tears she dumped all over me. I have been her best friend since long before you came along and I have never seen her cry like that."

"Then why are you here? If she's so heartbroken over Josh, then what can I do? She's not going to want to see me."

"Maybe not at first, Castle. She won't admit it, but she needs you."

"How do you know?" he asked bitterly.

"Because she told me she's tired of everyone she _loves_ leaving her."

Castle closed his eyes against the pain. "Josh didn't exactly walk out on her."

"He was going to Somalia. That's close enough to leaving for her, even if I think she realizes now that she didn't really want to marry him. But all she can focus on at the moment is that Josh didn't want her enough. And neither did you."

"God, Lanie, is that what she thinks? I left _because_ I love her. Because _I_ couldn't stand to see her happy with another man. All I want is her."

"_I _know that, and I told her as much. But _you_ should have told _her_ that." She raised her eyebrows at him.

"How could I? She was getting married to someone else. It wasn't exactly good timing."

"No, you were the idiot who told her it was work-related, instead of being honest and avoiding this whole mess. For some crazy ass reason, you told her that you were never partners. You couldn't just walk out and leave her with that, you had to rip that out of her hands, too."

"Lanie—"

"No, it's time you got your head out of your ass and listened." She scooted a little closer to him on the couch to make her point. "That woman loves you so much that she stops eating and sleeping when you're gone. And that whole fight with Josh? It was just an excuse to dump him, because she knew he wasn't right for her. Both of you have been way too stubborn to just open up and tell each other how you feel. You dance around things, don't talk about things, and outright lie when you're asked a direct question. And it's going to kill you both if you don't do something about it. As her best friend, I will not let that happen. She knows that agreeing to marry Josh hurt you, but she can't see past the things you said to her when you left. Or the fact that you left her in the first place. So, you are going to march your butt over there and tell her right now how you feel, or I will make good on my threat to hide your body somewhere that it will never be found."

He winced. "Jeez, Lanie."

"I'm serious, Castle. Don't let her get away."

"She's never going to trust me again." His heart clenched with the thought.

"Probably not at first. But you _will_ make her trust you. You have to show her that you won't walk away again. And then, you prove it, over and over again until she believes it."

"Okay."

"Today, Castle. Not tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month when you get up the balls to do it. Today. She has the day off work."

"All right. I'll go."

"Like now."

"All right, already!" He stood up from the couch and she followed him up. He stopped and looked at her for a second. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

Lanie sighed. "Yes… Probably." She hesitated. "If you ever tell Kate I said this, I will kill you." Lanie raised her eyebrows at him and waited until he nodded before continuing.

"Kate told me that after her mother died, that she had a hard time trusting people. Her mother didn't have a choice in what happened to her, but after her death, Kate made the choice to be selective with her heart."

Castle squeezed his eyes shut against the pain of that, knowing that he'd taken something so incredible – her trust – and broken it.

"But underneath all of the pain she's in right now, and all the anger she feels, she knows why you really left, and she knows she loves you. She's going to have a hard time trusting you now. But, you have to try. And I want you try harder than you've ever tried for anything in your life."

He nodded. "I will." Then he hesitated for a moment, before pulling her into a quick hug. "Thanks, Lanie, for coming here to tell me. And for kicking my ass into gear."

"You're welcome, Writer Monkey. Now move."

He let go of her, laughing slightly, as they headed for the door together.

* * *

**End Note:** Only one more chapter left. I will post it later tonight!


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** This is the final chapter! And it takes place about thirty minutes after the last one ended.

* * *

Kate lay on her side in her bed, wearing her favorite sweatpants and sweatshirt, with her favorite blanket wrapped tightly around her. She was staring listlessly out the window, watching the clouds roll over the building next door. Her chest ached, but her eyes were finally dry and the lump in her throat had subsided at last. Her eyes were drifting towards closing when a knock sounded on her door.

She thought very seriously about ignoring it for a moment, in case it was Josh coming to try and win back her heart, but she figured it was Lanie, coming to check on her during her lunch hour. And she couldn't leave her best friend hanging, not after everything Lanie had done for her last night.

Kate sighed heavily and pushed the covers off of herself. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, but didn't bother to fix her messy pony tail as she walked out of her bedroom. And when she passed the mirror in the hallway, she refused to look at herself. She didn't want to see the mess that was her reflection at the moment.

She stepped up to the door and glanced through the peephole, just to make sure it wasn't actually Josh. The sight that greeted her knocked the breath out of her. She leaned her forehead against the wooden door and tried to calm her breathing and collect her racing thoughts. One thought that jumped out at her was, _my best friend is a traitor._ Half of her wanted to turn and run and the other half wanted to pull open the door and jump into the arms of the man standing on the other side.

She did neither.

Kate reached for the lock and then the handle, before slowing pulling the door to her apartment open.

"Kate." Her name fell from his lips like a prayer.

She wanted to slap him, to push at his chest, and claw his eyes out. What she didn't expect were the tears that instantly started streaming down her face. She wrapped her arms around her abdomen and held on tight.

His jaw dropped open and his mouth worked up and down like a fish gasping for water. He moved into the apartment and reached for her with both hands, but she took a violent, tumbling step backwards, out of his reach.

"Don't." Her voice was low and hard, and he saw the anger glittering behind the tears in her eyes. What he couldn't see was the relief that was tumbling through her. She was so angry at him, felt betrayed by him, but seeing his face was like a soothing balm to her soul. All she wanted to do was let him touch her, let him wrap his arms tight around her.

But if he touched her, she would fall apart, and then she would never know for sure. Even if what Lanie said was true, that Castle loved her and had walked away from her to avoid seeing her marry another man, she wouldn't believe it unless _he_ could prove it to her.

* * *

"Kate." Castle shut the door behind him, but his eyes never left hers.

"What are you doing here, Castle?" She turned and walked away from him, going to stand in the kitchen, putting the island between them for some distance.

He followed her, but respected her space and stayed on the other side of the counter. They were silent for a few moments, and he tried to gather his thoughts and figure out what to say. He had come up with a plan on the ride here, but the plan had flown out the window at the sight of her tears. He'd been ready for the anger, or the indifference, but never the tears. They broke his heart all over again.

Finally, he said, "How are you?"

She snorted out a raw laugh, wiping viciously at the tears on her cheeks. "Just fucking dandy, Castle."

He bit his lip at her language. It was rare to hear that from her. As rare as the tears on her cheeks. He took a moment to study her, to see that she _had_ lost weight, was nearly swimming in the clothes she was wearing. And Lanie had been right about the bags under her eyes, which stood out in stark relief due to the dark color of them against her pale skin.

"I'm sorry to hear about Josh," he said quietly.

"Ha, yeah right, Castle." Her words were filled with bitterness.

"I am," he murmured. "All I want, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

"That's rich, Castle. Really. Did you think leaving me behind was going to make me happy? That taking away our partnership and making it out like it was nothing to you would make me happy?" Her words bit at him. "Well, you were wrong," she spit out.

He cleared his throat. "I know, I understand that now."

"Just tell me why, huh, Castle. That's all I want to know. Why?"

He looked down, avoiding the fire in her eyes. It cut through him and he wasn't sure that Lanie was going to be right. He wasn't sure he could fix this, no matter how hard he tried. She probably wouldn't trust him ever again.

But he was going to give it his best shot. He looked back up and met her gaze. "Because I love you," he said simply, with a shrug of his shoulders. "I left because I wanted you, Kate. But more than that, I wanted you to be happy. And I thought being with Josh made you happy. So I tried to bow out gracefully. Only… I wasn't very graceful about it."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I walked away because I couldn't stand to see you with someone else, not like that, not married." He rubbed a hand over his chest, as if trying to sooth an ache he felt there. "My heart couldn't take that."

She stared at him, and her chin quivered once again, but she didn't speak.

Slowly, he started walking around the counter to stand closer to her. He didn't dare touch her, not yet, but he wanted to be near her. "It seems my heart had a lot of trouble being away from you, though. You have no idea how many times I reached for my phone to call you, to tell you that I was sorry and that I wanted to come back, because being without you was worse than watching you with another man. But I couldn't, Kate, because I knew, deep down, that it would be worse to watch you marry him. Because you're a one and done type of girl. And I had hoped that eventually I could get over you and move on."

"And did you?" she whispered.

He smiled sadly. "Not a chance. You're unforgettable, Kate."

Her chin dropped to her chest and she closed her eyes, blocking her emotions from him. He sighed, wondering what to do next, what else he could say to make it better, to fix everything. The sound of her voice surprised him.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that?"

He sighed softly and leaned back against the island. "I should have. I should've tried to prove it to you. I should've told you all the things I kept inside of me, because then maybe you would have believed it. Believed that all the teasing and the flirting I did wasn't just a game I was playing. I know how powerful my words can be." He hesitated. "To you."

He swallowed back his fear. "But I never did, because I didn't think you were ready to hear it. You have to understand, Kate, I always thought we would end up together. I thought that in time, you would come to realize what I had, that we were meant for each other. And that you were all I would ever need. So I was waiting on you. Waiting on you to realize Josh wasn't the person you wanted to be with. Waiting for both of us to be single so we could take that chance. But that time never came. I waited too long. And now I've lost you." The grief in his voice was a tangible thing, and she lifted her eyes to meet his gaze.

And then, finally, she reached out to touch him with trembling fingers against his arm. "I'm right here," she whispered.

The touch unraveled him, and he stepped up to pull her roughly against his chest, his fingers digging into the back of her sweatshirt. He buried his face in her pony tail and held on for dear life. Her arms were slower than his, but eventually they wound around his waist. He could feel her breath, warm against his neck as she leaned against him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, the words spilling out of him and into her hair. "I'm so sorry, Kate. I'm sorry I walked away, that I never told you how I felt. I'm sorry I left you to fend for yourself, without your partner. I'm sorry I told you our partnership didn't mean anything to me, because it does. It was everything to me. You're everything to me. Please forgive me."

"Shh, Castle." She soothed him, brushing her hands over his hair. Kate pulled him back to study his face. His eyes were brimming with tears, though none had fallen. "Don't cry," she whispered. She swiped a thumb over the corner of his eye, catching the moisture there.

He chuckled roughly. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?" His hands replaced hers and he used his palms to rub at his eyes.

Her lips quirked in a small grin. "I always knew you'd be the woman in this relationship."

"Hey!" he protested, with hardly any energy at all, because hope was suddenly blooming in his chest at her words. "This relationship?" he asked.

She looked away shyly, before glancing back at him as she bit her lower lip. Kate had no idea how much that habit of hers made him want to kiss her, but he still wasn't sure it was a good idea. He wasn't sure that her words meant what he hoped they meant.

"You have a long road ahead of you, Castle."

He nodded eagerly. He knew that.

"You…" She sighed softly. "You broke my heart when you walked away, even if I didn't really know that's what was happening."

His chest ached at her words.

"I thought I could be happy with Josh, but I wasn't. I wasn't happy without you. But you took something from me that day when you left, and I'm not sure that I've found it again. I… I don't know that I trust you completely right now."

"I'll prove it to you, that you can trust me. Every day, Kate. Any time you'll give me. I swear to you, I'll get it back." He was nearly begging her now.

She studied him, searching his eyes, and he wondered if she found what she was looking for. Finally, she said, "If you walk away again, Rick, I swear to God I'll shoot you."

"And Lanie will help you bury my body."

"Exactly." She smiled then, the first real, genuine smile he had seen on her face in weeks. God, he had missed it, missed her. Slowly, she rubbed her thumb along his bottom lip. "Are you ever going to kiss me?" she finally asked, after they spent a few moments just watching each other.

He chuckled and pulled her closer, nuzzling her nose with his cheek. "I was just waiting for permission."

She sighed in exasperation. "If you always have to wait for permission, we're never going to accomplish anything."

His lips curved against her cheek. "You're just going to have to learn to be more forthcoming."

"Castle."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me. That's an order."

"Ooh, kinky, Detective."

"Cast—" Her words were cut off by his mouth on hers, effectively silencing both of them. And for the first time in nearly two months, they let themselves hope.

* * *

**End Note:** Sorry for the line break there in the middle. I do that sometimes if I want to switch viewpoints during a scene. Instead of writing from Kate's perspective, I switched over to Castle's. If that's not cool, let me know, and I'll try to avoid it from now on.

Soooo… This story was exhausting! I wrote the whole thing in one day, and then I spent the rest of the week basically re-writing everything. But I've definitely learned a lot. I can't even begin to explain to you what I figured out by doing this. So… I won't try. I'll just shut up and post this (…in a minute.)

I do hope you enjoyed this, that the conclusion was everything you hoped it would be. I want to thank everyone who left me a review, or added my story as a favorite, or put this story on alert. It made me feel like I can actually get back in to this writing thing! Let me know what you thought.


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